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We’re entering a period of sultry heat, minimal clothing, and long, hot nights; a period in which everyone is thinking the same two things: “Why is it so hot? ” But how are you supposed to move — let alone move in synchrony while touching another person — when even taking a tiny breath leaves you drenched in sweat? You could pledge summer celibacy (sad) or attempt to follow age-old lady-magazine advice like “get creative with ice” (it will never live up to that scene from Do the Right Thing) or “work frozen foods into your bedroom routine” (c’mon, take some pride in that high-thread-count bedding and leave ice cream out of it).
In theory summer sex is hot, but in reality summer sex is so uncomfortably hot. But there are more practical ways to avoid heatstroke while getting it on during the dog days.
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THE ICE-BABY THREESOME Requires: An empty gallon jug, a sink, no fear of frostbite.
Take a gallon jug or liter bottle, fill it with water, freeze, it, wrap it in a towel, and place it in bed with you and your sex partner.