Dating a man who is not divorced yet
When I moved back to my hometown we spent a lot of time together, I spent a lot of time with his son, and I spent a lot of time listening to him explain the circumstances surrounding his divorce, and the pains that inevitably followed. And while it wasn’t a relationship that lasted a substantial period of time, it was a relationship that taught me a great deal about myself, about what I wanted, and about the difficulties of dating someone who was once legally committed.I learned that I would have to constantly share him. Legal proceedings and endless paperwork force people who are going through a divorce to live with one foot in the past, and one foot in a possible future.In other words, what exactly is a separated man or divorced man?What are they going through, and what should you be concerned about if you’re in a relationship with a man who might be in a given stage of divorce or separation?
If he cannot or will not follow through on this, what kind of follow through will he have in regards to his commitment to you? Does he acknowledge his role in the marriage falling apart? If he says phrases like, "I'm not perfect" or "I really tried," take these as cues that his relationship with you will also feature him making an effort when needed.Unfortunately (or fortunately…depending on how you look at it), there is no simple mathematical equation, or test, or quiz that can predict whether or not your relationship will be a lasting success.Our life is an —not a foregone conclusion (and that’s a good thing! But the more aware you are of what, potentially, you’re getting into when you enter a relationship, the better you can mitigate your chances of heartbreak and relationship disaster.This is important and he will be talking about it, so listen with a keen intensity when he does.Here is a checklist: You must be definite that he is actually getting a divorce and has not just taken a few weeks off from his marriage to "find himself" or "get space." Are papers being filed or served? Any reports of progress are a green light that he is headed in the right direction as a possible partner for you.